This is not just another poem
But, instead, a sincere plea.
To all of you who are reading
I am asking so earnestly.
If you know the Lord as Savior
In Heaven you'll be some day.
But, what about those around you. . .
Those who are lost, do you pray?
It doesn't matter where you are
Or your status here on earth.
You also have a great purpose
And it's not through worldly worth.
Just stop for a minute and think
Those you see day after day,
Those whom you consider your friends
And those who get in your way.
In your mind picture those faces,
And then consider this thought. . .
One day you will stand before God
And also these will be brought . . .
To stand before our Righteous King
The final court will decree.
On these faces you see fear. . .
Pleading so desperately.
You can't believe this is happening
Though you'd heard it all those years,
The Judgment Day has actually come . . .
You watch them with bitter tears.
One by one they pass before Him
They begin to scream and cry . . .
"Why didn't you tell me?", they ask . . .
"Why didn't you ever try?"
The door to Hell is opening
And you hear our Father say,
"Go, depart, I never knew you . . ."
And then, they are cast away.
In relentless pain and torture
With flames leaping all around,
There, even the worm will not die
And no relief can be found.
If you believe the Holy Word
Then you know this is all true.
Now, with all of this on your heart
What are you going to do?
Tomorrow you'll see those faces
You'll wonder, "Are they prepared?"
Walk over and simply ask them . . .
Let them know you truly care.
The Lord is wanting to use you
To bring those lost ones to Him,
That day is so much closer now
Soon they will all be condemned.
Not one thing is more important
Than sharing Salvation's Truth!
All earthly things will pass away,
God's Word is Eternal Proof!
Don't be afraid to proclaim it,
Though many will laugh and scorn.
Just think about the hereafter,
And those faces so forlorn.
A bittersweet time it will be
No doubt some will walk your way
With rejoicing, they'll embrace you
And through tear-dimmed eyes they'll say . . .
"You never knew I was listening
But, one day I heard you tell
A wayward soul about the Lord
Laughing, he said, 'There's no Hell!' . . .
You walked away looking so sad
My heart was so convicted.
I knelt and prayed to your Jesus
My life was so afflicted.
He was my Jesus too that day!
I never saw you again.
I wanted so much to tell you
Your witness was not in vain."
What a joyous day that will be
When we enter Heaven's gate!
Start sharing the Good News today. . .
Tomorrow may be too late.
Susan Trafford Martin
1997
Monday, September 20, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Power of Prayer
The Power of Prayer
When I was so much younger
The Bible was a storybook,
Jesus, the main character
As through the many words I'd look.
Heaven was a fairytale land
With lovely scenes to behold,
A place of wonder, beauty, peace
Where noone ever grows old.
As I began to grow older
And was sitting on that cold pew,
I had a terrible feeling
Singing, "Jesus is calling you".
That preacher, talking right at me
I felt everyone was staring,
I just wanted to leave that place
And hide my sin I was bearing.
Once I was home I felt better,
Though not completely at ease,
That feeling just kept hanging on
I could not find any peace.
When Sunday rolled around again
As it too often seemed to do,
I tried to look so very sick
And Mama didn't have a clue.
My mama and me stayed at home
All day I had to stay in bed;
That was perfectly fine with me...
Could be distressed at church instead.
The next Sunday I tried again
But, Mama was getting too smart.
As I complained, she looked at me
And said, "Your problem is your heart".
So once again we went to church
At the end, I was on the verge;
But, I stubbornly would not budge
I would not give in to the urge!
As weeks went by, then months, then years
Feeling not much stirring at all,
As I would stand in church and hear
The pastor's invitation call.
My life was taking a nosedive
Indulging in my secret sin,
Granddad would pray aloud for me
That I would let the Savior in.
He would only make me angry
How dare he embarrass me so!
In front of my family and friends
Well, now I just won't even go.
I stayed on that dark, lonely road
That leads straight to self destruction,
I didn't need family or church
As I wallowed in deception.
My family never ceased to pray
For this, their child of transgression;
But, I chose to turn a deaf ear
Choosing instead sinful passion.
I was firmly in Satan's grasp
And he was hanging on so tight,
He didn't plan to let me go
Without a long, horrendous fight.
He had me pushed to the edge
Almost as far as I could go,
Dangling on the outer brink
When I heard a loud voice say, "NO!"
The Lord was close beside me
Wrestling Satan for my soul.
He told me that He loved me
And had paid for me my toll.
I cried and prayed, "Lord, please help me...
I'm so very steeped in sin,
I can't go on without You, Lord,
Please Lord Jesus, please come in".
Instantly, I had complete peace
And joy that's beyond compare.
Still holding me and guiding me
I know He'll always be there.
I praise God for His Only Son
Who saved my soul from torment
It makes me shudder when I think
How my life could have been spent.
Thank you, Jesus, for my family
Who never gave up or lost faith
For all the years they prayed that I
In Your Precious Blood would be bathed.
Now I have an eternal home
I'll again be with those loved ones,
Whose prayers, I am convinced, are why
I've been redeemed by God's Dear Son.
Never give up! Don't lose faith!
Sincere prayers are never unheard,
Jesus hears them, I am proof
With every prayer, a heart is stirred!
Susan Trafford Martin
1997
When I was so much younger
The Bible was a storybook,
Jesus, the main character
As through the many words I'd look.
Heaven was a fairytale land
With lovely scenes to behold,
A place of wonder, beauty, peace
Where noone ever grows old.
As I began to grow older
And was sitting on that cold pew,
I had a terrible feeling
Singing, "Jesus is calling you".
That preacher, talking right at me
I felt everyone was staring,
I just wanted to leave that place
And hide my sin I was bearing.
Once I was home I felt better,
Though not completely at ease,
That feeling just kept hanging on
I could not find any peace.
When Sunday rolled around again
As it too often seemed to do,
I tried to look so very sick
And Mama didn't have a clue.
My mama and me stayed at home
All day I had to stay in bed;
That was perfectly fine with me...
Could be distressed at church instead.
The next Sunday I tried again
But, Mama was getting too smart.
As I complained, she looked at me
And said, "Your problem is your heart".
So once again we went to church
At the end, I was on the verge;
But, I stubbornly would not budge
I would not give in to the urge!
As weeks went by, then months, then years
Feeling not much stirring at all,
As I would stand in church and hear
The pastor's invitation call.
My life was taking a nosedive
Indulging in my secret sin,
Granddad would pray aloud for me
That I would let the Savior in.
He would only make me angry
How dare he embarrass me so!
In front of my family and friends
Well, now I just won't even go.
I stayed on that dark, lonely road
That leads straight to self destruction,
I didn't need family or church
As I wallowed in deception.
My family never ceased to pray
For this, their child of transgression;
But, I chose to turn a deaf ear
Choosing instead sinful passion.
I was firmly in Satan's grasp
And he was hanging on so tight,
He didn't plan to let me go
Without a long, horrendous fight.
He had me pushed to the edge
Almost as far as I could go,
Dangling on the outer brink
When I heard a loud voice say, "NO!"
The Lord was close beside me
Wrestling Satan for my soul.
He told me that He loved me
And had paid for me my toll.
I cried and prayed, "Lord, please help me...
I'm so very steeped in sin,
I can't go on without You, Lord,
Please Lord Jesus, please come in".
Instantly, I had complete peace
And joy that's beyond compare.
Still holding me and guiding me
I know He'll always be there.
I praise God for His Only Son
Who saved my soul from torment
It makes me shudder when I think
How my life could have been spent.
Thank you, Jesus, for my family
Who never gave up or lost faith
For all the years they prayed that I
In Your Precious Blood would be bathed.
Now I have an eternal home
I'll again be with those loved ones,
Whose prayers, I am convinced, are why
I've been redeemed by God's Dear Son.
Never give up! Don't lose faith!
Sincere prayers are never unheard,
Jesus hears them, I am proof
With every prayer, a heart is stirred!
Susan Trafford Martin
1997
Blessings in Disguise
Sitting there in her wheelchair,
Still living in the past.
Sitting there day after day
Soon it will be her last.
Her life was spent with children
Her devotion, sincere.
She spent long, tiring hours
Teaching, soothing their fears.
Have they really forgotten,
This one who loved them so . . .
The one who made time for them
When others told them no?
She sat there, looking so sad
While others passed her by.
I knelt down by her wheelchair,
She looked me in the eye.
I made a simple comment....
"Good to see you again".
But, this sweet, precious soul heard
"I care, you have a friend".
No further words were needed,
Just her warm, tender smile.
Thank you, God, for showing me
What is really worthwhile.
I left a different person,
I had learned something new.
We all need to feel needed
Young and old, me and you.
Yes, I had always known this...
But that day roles were reversed.
My goal, make her feel needed,
Quench her emotional thirst.
What a blessing God bestowed
Such a beautiful smile!
I've never felt so needed.
Never felt so worthwhile.
They need to know they are needed,
And in return, so do we.
God pours his blessings out through them
I urge you...try it...you'll see!
Susan Trafford Martin, 1999
(inspired after visiting a nursing home)
"A gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness".
~Proverbs 16:31
"Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old."
~Proverbs 23:22
"You shall rise up before the gray-headed and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the Lord".
Still living in the past.
Sitting there day after day
Soon it will be her last.
Her life was spent with children
Her devotion, sincere.
She spent long, tiring hours
Teaching, soothing their fears.
Have they really forgotten,
This one who loved them so . . .
The one who made time for them
When others told them no?
She sat there, looking so sad
While others passed her by.
I knelt down by her wheelchair,
She looked me in the eye.
I made a simple comment....
"Good to see you again".
But, this sweet, precious soul heard
"I care, you have a friend".
No further words were needed,
Just her warm, tender smile.
Thank you, God, for showing me
What is really worthwhile.
I left a different person,
I had learned something new.
We all need to feel needed
Young and old, me and you.
Yes, I had always known this...
But that day roles were reversed.
My goal, make her feel needed,
Quench her emotional thirst.
What a blessing God bestowed
Such a beautiful smile!
I've never felt so needed.
Never felt so worthwhile.
They need to know they are needed,
And in return, so do we.
God pours his blessings out through them
I urge you...try it...you'll see!
Susan Trafford Martin, 1999
(inspired after visiting a nursing home)
"A gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness".
~Proverbs 16:31
"Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old."
~Proverbs 23:22
"You shall rise up before the gray-headed and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the Lord".
~Leviticus 19:32
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tribute to a Caregiver
Today is the same as yesterday,
Probably the same tomorrow.
She can't tell him what she feels . . .
Pain, happiness, joy, or sorrow.
He sits and lovingly holds her hand
Day after day, hour after hour . . .
As the moments pass away
Still her strong, protective tower.
He looks at her so helplessly
I can see it in his eyes.
To have her back for just one day
To him would be worth any price.
A more gallant man I've never known,
So unselfishly devoted -
- The meaning of the word 'hero'
And he doesn't even know it.
He made a vow to honor her
In health and in sickness.
His love for her is priceless
More valuable than riches.
Words are cheap, actions immeasurable
I consistently witness these facts.
He doesn't say much, his deeds are countless
His favors and kindness aren't merely acts.
I've always had great respect for him
But had never actually quite grasped
The true depth of his compassion,
His dedication to any task.
Until the shadow of Alzheimer's
Began to slowly cloud her thoughts
Did I begin to appreciate
The cherished lessons to be taught.
I've learned more than words can express
Through these helpless, heartbreaking years . . .
Love, commitment, and faith in God,
Lessons taught through heartache and tears.
Though this thief has stolen her freedom,
Her practical jokes, her love for life,
It can't take the love from her heart
Nor steal this man's love for his wife.
Had it not been for this "long goodbye"
I might have never understood
The ties that bind us together
- These heartstrings of family - as I should.
You see, this man of which I've written
Is none other than my father
This is my way of letting him know
I love him for loving my mother.
Susan Trafford Martin
March 2006
Today is the same as yesterday,
Probably the same tomorrow.
She can't tell him what she feels . . .
Pain, happiness, joy, or sorrow.
He sits and lovingly holds her hand
Day after day, hour after hour . . .
As the moments pass away
Still her strong, protective tower.
He looks at her so helplessly
I can see it in his eyes.
To have her back for just one day
To him would be worth any price.
A more gallant man I've never known,
So unselfishly devoted -
- The meaning of the word 'hero'
And he doesn't even know it.
He made a vow to honor her
In health and in sickness.
His love for her is priceless
More valuable than riches.
Words are cheap, actions immeasurable
I consistently witness these facts.
He doesn't say much, his deeds are countless
His favors and kindness aren't merely acts.
I've always had great respect for him
But had never actually quite grasped
The true depth of his compassion,
His dedication to any task.
Until the shadow of Alzheimer's
Began to slowly cloud her thoughts
Did I begin to appreciate
The cherished lessons to be taught.
I've learned more than words can express
Through these helpless, heartbreaking years . . .
Love, commitment, and faith in God,
Lessons taught through heartache and tears.
Though this thief has stolen her freedom,
Her practical jokes, her love for life,
It can't take the love from her heart
Nor steal this man's love for his wife.
Had it not been for this "long goodbye"
I might have never understood
The ties that bind us together
- These heartstrings of family - as I should.
You see, this man of which I've written
Is none other than my father
This is my way of letting him know
I love him for loving my mother.
Susan Trafford Martin
March 2006
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Jesus Loves Me
Jesus loves His children
I know this is true.
Jesus loves all people
Saved ones, lost ones too.
"Jesus loves me, this I know"
I sang when I was young.
But, it's very hard to grasp . . .
He knows each and every one.
I struggled with this concept
. . . The Lord knows me by name?
Does He really want to know
My joy, my fears, my pain?
It was so hard to fathom
I couldn't understand . . .
He has so many children
Why would He hold my hand?
I'm just a simple person
I've done nothing outstanding.
How could He have time for me
With millions on Him depending?
Then, I had a dream one night
This on my mind again . . .
Following a multitude
Being led by One Man.
Leading down a winding road
To where, nobody knew.
In Him we had total faith,
To follow all the way through.
He suddenly turned around,
Was searching through the crowd . . .
I longingly reached to Him,
And heard myself cry aloud . . .
"I LOVE YOU JESUS!", I cried,
As He surveyed the mass. . .
Then His eyes lowered to mine,
He's coming to me, at last!!!
He took me in His arms
I have never felt such peace . . .
No words can describe it
I wished it would never cease.
In awe, I was thinking,
"This must be how Heaven feels . . .
Serene, calm, and peaceful
Resting in God's Perfect Will".
Then, He said, "I love you, too"
I looked upon His face . . .
My sweet Savior said my name!
Doubts instantly were erased.
Jesus loves me, THIS I KNOW
If you doubt He loves you too,
Reach out to Him, call His name . . .
He's waiting to hear from you.
Susan Martin
Written after a dream, June 1998
I know this is true.
Jesus loves all people
Saved ones, lost ones too.
"Jesus loves me, this I know"
I sang when I was young.
But, it's very hard to grasp . . .
He knows each and every one.
I struggled with this concept
. . . The Lord knows me by name?
Does He really want to know
My joy, my fears, my pain?
It was so hard to fathom
I couldn't understand . . .
He has so many children
Why would He hold my hand?
I'm just a simple person
I've done nothing outstanding.
How could He have time for me
With millions on Him depending?
Then, I had a dream one night
This on my mind again . . .
Following a multitude
Being led by One Man.
Leading down a winding road
To where, nobody knew.
In Him we had total faith,
To follow all the way through.
He suddenly turned around,
Was searching through the crowd . . .
I longingly reached to Him,
And heard myself cry aloud . . .
"I LOVE YOU JESUS!", I cried,
As He surveyed the mass. . .
Then His eyes lowered to mine,
He's coming to me, at last!!!
He took me in His arms
I have never felt such peace . . .
No words can describe it
I wished it would never cease.
In awe, I was thinking,
"This must be how Heaven feels . . .
Serene, calm, and peaceful
Resting in God's Perfect Will".
Then, He said, "I love you, too"
I looked upon His face . . .
My sweet Savior said my name!
Doubts instantly were erased.
Jesus loves me, THIS I KNOW
If you doubt He loves you too,
Reach out to Him, call His name . . .
He's waiting to hear from you.
Susan Martin
Written after a dream, June 1998
Monday, September 6, 2010
Do we???
Do We Love Jesus?
"Oh, how I love Jesus"
Music filling the air!
Getting closer to the church
So anxious to enter there!
Looking up at the steeple
Pointing to Heaven above
Hearing angelic voices
This is where I could find love!
In need of assurance
Of God's absolute Grace
I walked into the building
Awesome! I was amazed!
This is truly God's House
Surely I'll find Him here
The music, so inspiring
The pastor, so sincere.
I entered the santuary
The people turned and stared
With obvious disapproval . . .
No compassion or care.
Their expressions confused me
With each one, my heart weighed more.
Why the cruel, cold gazes
Don't they claim to love the Lord?
"Let's welcome those in our midst
Who are visiting here today . . .
Shake hands with your neighbor
Tell them for them you'll pray".
As the people passed by me
Whispering to the rest,
No one took my hand in theirs
By me they were not impressed.
But then, one man approached me
I gave him a heartfelt smile.
He would share the love of God . . .
Let me know I am worthwhile!
A smile he didn't return
Instead a disgruntled sneer
Leaned over to me and said,
"Your kind is not welcome here".
I turned to walk away
My heart was sinking much lower,
What did he mean by that . . .
My clothing, my hair, my color?
But, don't they love Jesus?
Their singing is heard outside . . .
"Love for all" is preached here,
And, "for all Jesus died".
As I sat and cried and thought
How can I truly find the Lord?
Not fit to sit in His House
Not good enough to hear His Word . . .
I felt someone touch my arm
I turned and He stood before me
He said, "You are not alone",
Speaking so compassionately.
"Like you, I'm no longer welcome
To enter into this place . . .
About Me they have forgotten
My mercy, My love, My grace . . .
For Me you have been searching,
By them you were turned away,
They know not what they do . . .
You have found the Lord today".
"Oh, how I love Jesus"
The music again is heard.
Meaningless words to them
But, my heart was stirred!
I am walking with Jesus
Away from their haughtiness,
The Lord has found me today
I am clothed in His righteousness!
Susan Trafford Martin
written March 2001
"Oh, how I love Jesus"
Music filling the air!
Getting closer to the church
So anxious to enter there!
Looking up at the steeple
Pointing to Heaven above
Hearing angelic voices
This is where I could find love!
In need of assurance
Of God's absolute Grace
I walked into the building
Awesome! I was amazed!
This is truly God's House
Surely I'll find Him here
The music, so inspiring
The pastor, so sincere.
I entered the santuary
The people turned and stared
With obvious disapproval . . .
No compassion or care.
Their expressions confused me
With each one, my heart weighed more.
Why the cruel, cold gazes
Don't they claim to love the Lord?
"Let's welcome those in our midst
Who are visiting here today . . .
Shake hands with your neighbor
Tell them for them you'll pray".
As the people passed by me
Whispering to the rest,
No one took my hand in theirs
By me they were not impressed.
But then, one man approached me
I gave him a heartfelt smile.
He would share the love of God . . .
Let me know I am worthwhile!
A smile he didn't return
Instead a disgruntled sneer
Leaned over to me and said,
"Your kind is not welcome here".
I turned to walk away
My heart was sinking much lower,
What did he mean by that . . .
My clothing, my hair, my color?
But, don't they love Jesus?
Their singing is heard outside . . .
"Love for all" is preached here,
And, "for all Jesus died".
As I sat and cried and thought
How can I truly find the Lord?
Not fit to sit in His House
Not good enough to hear His Word . . .
I felt someone touch my arm
I turned and He stood before me
He said, "You are not alone",
Speaking so compassionately.
"Like you, I'm no longer welcome
To enter into this place . . .
About Me they have forgotten
My mercy, My love, My grace . . .
For Me you have been searching,
By them you were turned away,
They know not what they do . . .
You have found the Lord today".
"Oh, how I love Jesus"
The music again is heard.
Meaningless words to them
But, my heart was stirred!
I am walking with Jesus
Away from their haughtiness,
The Lord has found me today
I am clothed in His righteousness!
Susan Trafford Martin
written March 2001
Thursday, September 2, 2010
My First Blog
I just happen to be testing my blog-writing abilities on my birthday, September 2, 1010. It wasn't planned that way, just worked out that way. God has blessed me with a wonderful, rainy, pleasant day - a day that hasn't included a huge amount of transcription work to preoccupy my time. For those people who know what I do for a living, having an easy work day is a rarity for me. So, once again, thank you Lord! Having a less-than-hectic work day is a huge gift for me. Maybe God knew I needed a break and He decided to save an easy day for my birthday. He's so good!
As I was sitting on my back porch listening to the rain, I began to think back to the previous birthdays in my life. I've had a mixture of really outstanding birthdays and some I'd rather forget. The birthday that stands out most in my mind and was without a doubt the most meaningful and life-changing birthday that I'd ever had or that I'll ever have actually occurred in May of 1979. I was 19 years old. My life was in shambles. I was going through life like a robot; getting up, going to work, coming home, going to bed; getting up, going to work, coming home, going to bed, etc., etc. My life had absolutely no meaning whatsoever. My main concern, my only concern actually, was taking care of my baby girl. She was my focus and all I thought I had to live for. As I was thinking back to those years and how they are such distant memories, just blurry spots in my mind, it occurs to me that those days and weeks and months and years were like walking in a fog as I was actually living them. The plans I'd made for myself had crumbled, I felt I had disgraced my family, and I had no hope for the future - except to do whatever I had to do to make sure my baby girl had everything she needed and was well cared for. My hope, in essence, was in my little girl. She was the only source of happiness, the only reason I could smile. . . until that evening in May 1979. . . .
My life had been on a downward spiral for so long and I didn't think it could get any more out of control. I was so wrong. When I hit rock bottom, hard, I knew I couldn't do this on my own. I felt such a strong tugging at my heart, I literally felt I was going to die. God literally caused me to fall on my knees and I knew there was only one thing I could do, only one Person I could talk to, that could help me. I was in such agony and need of help, I could not even force words out of my mouth. I was in such anguish, I could do nothing but weep bitter tears of desperation. I was lost, completely...unmistakably...lost. I could literally feel the spiritual warfare that was going on all around me, as I lay on the floor of my bedroom unable to move. I've never been so frightened in my life. It entered my mind that God was going to take my life because of all those years of refusing His call and pushing Him to the side. I could feel the struggle between God and Satan for my soul. I can't describe that kind of anguish and fear. There are no words. I finally heard myself softly crying, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus". The heaviness in my heart and weightiness of my sin was intensifying and I could only muster enough breath to utter that Precious Name; but, in the depths of my soul, I was crying out in shame and pleading with God's Son to forgive me. I could see Jesus hanging on the cross, His Life-Giving Blood dripping from every pore of His beaten body. I felt so ashamed. I felt so unworthy of His Forgiveness. Then....in an instant....I felt Jesus come into my heart. I FELT JESUS COME INTO MY HEART! I felt the weight of the world lifted off my heart, off my soul, off my body instantaneously. As I lay there in a fetal position on the floor, covered with sweat and tears, I was again speechless. I had a renewed spirit, I was a new creature, and all I wanted to do for the next several minutes was take it all in. The minute before, I was in shackles. Now I was free. All I could do was smile and thank Jesus. Jesus - my Friend, my Redeemer, my Hope, my Savior. It was truly Joy Unspeakable and Full of Glory!
My life has never been the same since that May evening in 1979. That's not to say I haven't had problems and issues and storms in my life. Oh my, I've had my share. The difference is that now I have Jesus in my life to lead me through the valleys and hold my hand through the storms. Those of you who are reading this and know Him as your Savior, you know what I'm talking about. Those of you who are reading this and do not know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, I urge you to seek Him. I promise you that you'll never regret it. I also promise you that He'll never leave you. He's the Best Friend you'll ever have, the Only One you can depend on, and the Only One who can take you to Heaven when you've taken your last breath on earth. This is my prayer for all who read this.
I was born at St. Anthony's Hospital in Morrilton, Arkansas on September 2, 1959. I was born again in Plumerville, Arkansas in May of 1979. I thank you, Jesus, for giving me the breath of life as a newborn baby on that September morning in 1959; but, mostly, I thank You for giving me the Breath of Eternal Life as a newborn child of The King on that May evening in 1979.
Roman Road to Salvation:
Romans 10:13
John 3:16
Romans 5:8
Romans 3:23
Romans 6:23
Corinthians 5:21
Romans 10:9-10
Romans 10:13
As I was sitting on my back porch listening to the rain, I began to think back to the previous birthdays in my life. I've had a mixture of really outstanding birthdays and some I'd rather forget. The birthday that stands out most in my mind and was without a doubt the most meaningful and life-changing birthday that I'd ever had or that I'll ever have actually occurred in May of 1979. I was 19 years old. My life was in shambles. I was going through life like a robot; getting up, going to work, coming home, going to bed; getting up, going to work, coming home, going to bed, etc., etc. My life had absolutely no meaning whatsoever. My main concern, my only concern actually, was taking care of my baby girl. She was my focus and all I thought I had to live for. As I was thinking back to those years and how they are such distant memories, just blurry spots in my mind, it occurs to me that those days and weeks and months and years were like walking in a fog as I was actually living them. The plans I'd made for myself had crumbled, I felt I had disgraced my family, and I had no hope for the future - except to do whatever I had to do to make sure my baby girl had everything she needed and was well cared for. My hope, in essence, was in my little girl. She was the only source of happiness, the only reason I could smile. . . until that evening in May 1979. . . .
My life had been on a downward spiral for so long and I didn't think it could get any more out of control. I was so wrong. When I hit rock bottom, hard, I knew I couldn't do this on my own. I felt such a strong tugging at my heart, I literally felt I was going to die. God literally caused me to fall on my knees and I knew there was only one thing I could do, only one Person I could talk to, that could help me. I was in such agony and need of help, I could not even force words out of my mouth. I was in such anguish, I could do nothing but weep bitter tears of desperation. I was lost, completely...unmistakably...lost. I could literally feel the spiritual warfare that was going on all around me, as I lay on the floor of my bedroom unable to move. I've never been so frightened in my life. It entered my mind that God was going to take my life because of all those years of refusing His call and pushing Him to the side. I could feel the struggle between God and Satan for my soul. I can't describe that kind of anguish and fear. There are no words. I finally heard myself softly crying, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus". The heaviness in my heart and weightiness of my sin was intensifying and I could only muster enough breath to utter that Precious Name; but, in the depths of my soul, I was crying out in shame and pleading with God's Son to forgive me. I could see Jesus hanging on the cross, His Life-Giving Blood dripping from every pore of His beaten body. I felt so ashamed. I felt so unworthy of His Forgiveness. Then....in an instant....I felt Jesus come into my heart. I FELT JESUS COME INTO MY HEART! I felt the weight of the world lifted off my heart, off my soul, off my body instantaneously. As I lay there in a fetal position on the floor, covered with sweat and tears, I was again speechless. I had a renewed spirit, I was a new creature, and all I wanted to do for the next several minutes was take it all in. The minute before, I was in shackles. Now I was free. All I could do was smile and thank Jesus. Jesus - my Friend, my Redeemer, my Hope, my Savior. It was truly Joy Unspeakable and Full of Glory!
My life has never been the same since that May evening in 1979. That's not to say I haven't had problems and issues and storms in my life. Oh my, I've had my share. The difference is that now I have Jesus in my life to lead me through the valleys and hold my hand through the storms. Those of you who are reading this and know Him as your Savior, you know what I'm talking about. Those of you who are reading this and do not know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, I urge you to seek Him. I promise you that you'll never regret it. I also promise you that He'll never leave you. He's the Best Friend you'll ever have, the Only One you can depend on, and the Only One who can take you to Heaven when you've taken your last breath on earth. This is my prayer for all who read this.
I was born at St. Anthony's Hospital in Morrilton, Arkansas on September 2, 1959. I was born again in Plumerville, Arkansas in May of 1979. I thank you, Jesus, for giving me the breath of life as a newborn baby on that September morning in 1959; but, mostly, I thank You for giving me the Breath of Eternal Life as a newborn child of The King on that May evening in 1979.
Roman Road to Salvation:
Romans 10:13
John 3:16
Romans 5:8
Romans 3:23
Romans 6:23
Corinthians 5:21
Romans 10:9-10
Romans 10:13
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